


Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows

by tsoatu



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood, Dirty Talk, Fluff, Knife Play, M/M, Major Character Injury, Murder, Other, Smut, all that good shit man, also murder oops, its nines or richard depending on situation NSNSN, its sad, lots of old love songs its nice, mentions of self harm, nines does NOT swear, nothing big i promise im not that wack, ok nines swears like. when he was younger but not older, rk900 has a different name, there is self harm oof, there will be A TINY mention of rape way towards the end, whats slow burn idk her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-03-13 20:32:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18948301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsoatu/pseuds/tsoatu
Summary: A life of murder and blood was never one that Gavin saw himself in at the tender age of 36. But when Richard Stern, a serial killer, walks into his life with his heart to give over to Gavin, he can't turn him away. During the years, things get even more crazy and insane. The real worry, though, is will Richard ever be caught?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER AND TW: if you didn't read the tags, this story will contain graphic content including murder, self harm, and one VERY unhealthy character. Please be fully aware the relationship in this is entirely for entertainment, and I do not support any kind of behavior that Nines shows in this fic. If you read this and still get offended or uncomfortable, i highly suggest not reading it at all. Thank you and enjoy :)

“My, my, you all were so wonderful!” A voice boomed with happiness throughout the home, a soft tune playing inside the intruder’s mind.

Richard Stern. A killer. Batshit crazy in all he did. Laughter burst from him, bubbly and beautiful behind his mask. He was 33 now, had been doing this for god knows how long. Ever since he was young, he supposed. First, it was sweet little creatures that scampered about his home. He'd break their necks or slit their throats… but lord, it was never enough to fulfill his sick and twisted fantasies.

As a teen he found himself pricking his fingers with needles just to see the blood flow out. Blood. The gorgeous crimson was like looking at liquid gold to him. Absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing. He would have continued his arsonist ways that had started at the age of 13, but nothing was as good as seeing blood. No fire or minor destruction was as good as seeing blood. Nothing.

Except maybe screams. The begging all his victims would do in hopes to stay alive. Oh, it was so  _ good. _ Richard loved it so much. If he was feeling really wild that day, he'd take himself on a joyride of hours-long torture to his victims. Blood and cuts would scatter their bodies until he deemed them ultimately useless and would slit their throats or wrists and let them die slowly. He found it so amusing, entertaining, and utterly alluring.

As he walked around the bodies of three men, he sighed happily. “You all look so beautiful when you're bleeding out on the carpet… how messy, tch tch tch.” He shook his head. “Well, you all are horrible at keeping a conversation. You don't mind if I fetch myself a drink, do you?” He asked to the corpses that stared blankly into God knows where.

The man twirled his knife in his hand, humming to himself. Drops of blood still fell from the utensil, a trail leading into the white tiled floors of the kitchen.

“Let's see here…,” his gloved hand gripped the handle on the fridge and swung it open. “We have pop, water, beer...do you really never indulge yourself in a nice glass of red wine? What a shame.” He settled on a beer, grabbing it before gently shutting the door. His eyes scanned over the label and he pouted. “It isn't even the good kind. You are all so very disappointing.” A frown came to his lips as he walked out of the small kitchen, pretty and polished obsidian dress shoes clicking against the floor.

His figure swayed into the living room, a TV on the left and a couch on his right, a coffee table in front of him as well as the horrid scene he had created all by himself. The three men were all leaning against each other on the floor, staring towards the TV blankly, blood still running down their necks.

The beer can hissed as he cracked it open. Suddenly he let out a cry of joy. “You all might have horrible taste in your beverages but God you know how to make a pretty scene for me!” He giggled, reaching up and slipping off his plastic white mask, adorned with a simple black smiley face.

Despite his sick and twisted ways, he was as equally as gorgeous as the blood he adored so much. Dark brown dapper cut hair, a little too long for him. Icy blue eyes with pretty eyelashes and perfectly sculpted cheeks and jaw. He was drop dead gorgeous.  _ Literally. _

He hooked his mask on his belt loop of his high waisted black pants, his knife never leaving his hand. When he took a sip, he swallowed it, then made a disgusted sound. “I forgot how repulsive this stuff is. Here, why don't you all have some instead?” Richard smiled as he walked over to the coffee table, pushing it away so he had space to crouch in front of the men. “Cheers, darlings.” The beer can was brought up over their heads, Richard pouring it over their heads slowly with a content smile the entire time.

As he hummed a tune, he was so caught up in his own world, he didn't hear the unlocking of the front door to his left, completely entranced in the look of alcohol slowly dripping down their faces.

Then, the door opened.

“Guys, I brought takeout. I hope you-,” the man stopped, staring wide eyed at the scene in front of him. He looked maybe around his thirties, messy brown hair that looked like it hadn't been washed recently. A scar ran over the bridge of his nose and scruff peppered his face oh so prettily.

His shoulders dropped in… relief?

“Jesus, fuck, did I really just spend $38 on dinner and then this shit happens?” The man rolled his eyes, placing the plastic bags of food down. Was he even scared? He didn't even seem fazed.

Richard continued on pouring the last of the beer over the mens heads, smiling. “Aw, and I thought I would be done for the night. I'm so awfully tired and you've ruined my scheduled bedtime.” He frowned as he then tossed the can away, gripping his knife. “Who are you, dearie? I'd like to meet you before I end your precious life, after all.” The murderer stood, gorgeous, lean silhouette shadowing the low lit living room. He walked slowly around the couch to the man who clearly was making his way towards the kitchen.

“Name's Gavin. Have fun killing me I guess but know that you're doing me a favor, those guys were assholes,” Gavin said, stopping where he was as he looked over at the unmasked man. He was tall… and damn good looking, he had to admit.

“Oh, Gavin, please don't use such dirty words! They don't sound very nice coming from you.” Richard's heels clicked against the wood floor, his knife stained red. Very slowly, the blood was starting to thicken and dry. But before it really could dry, he brought the silver knife to his mouth, dragging his tongue over it. Hissing softly, he realized he had cut himself on it. Oh, but pain was so delicious. “Mm… your friends are so bitterly sweet, Gavin, my dear.” He stared at Gavin longer, eyes suddenly going wide.

“Oh my… but they didn't have such gorgeous eyes. My, yours are…,” he sighed, walking closer.

Gavin backed up a bit, raising an eyebrow at him. “My eyes?” he asked Richard, taken aback. Which was odd considering he wasn't too shocked at seeing his three roomates bodies in the living room. “What's so special about my eyes?” He glanced at the knife, and although seemingly at ease, he was starting to get a little scared.

The taller of the two ticked his head to the side, his neck showing more than it usually would have. On the left of his neck was the number 9. It was etched in messily, clearly done with a razor of some kind. Pointy and rushed.

“Your eyes? Oh, my love, they are just… so beautiful.” He walked closer, bringing the knife up in between them. A slender, pale hand came up to hold Gavin's chin, making him look up at him. Blue eyes stared into beautiful hazel green. Richard's eyes danced over his face before returning back to his eyes. The knife he was holding he brought up to drag over Gavin's scruff. Richard smiled.

“I have never seen such… pretty eyes. My God, how I'd love to have them for myself.” His own eyes wandered down toward his neck and his knife followed.

Gavin's breathing turned shaky and he hissed when he could feel the sting of the knife starting to glide through his skin. Gentle, yet so painful. “I-If you're gonna kill me can't you make it quick at least?” He glared up at Richard, trying to hide small sounds of pain.

“Kill you?” Richard looked at him surprised as he swiped his knife away, staring at the pretty and vermilion shine that bounced off of the new and fresh blood on his knife. “My God, I could never do that. Not to your pretty face. Though…,” he stared at the knife a little longer before glancing at Gavin again. “You would be even prettier bleeding out… don't you think?” His tongue, which was still bleeding lightly, licked the blood.

“What the fu-” Gavin was cut off as Richard suddenly kissed him, sliding his blood bedewed tongue past Gavin's lips and making him  _ taste.  _ His hands were holding Gavin's face in place, the kiss sloppy and wet. Gavin's eyes were wide and his hands were pressing against Richard's chest. But he wasn't pushing him away.

After a few seconds of this, Richard pulled away with a soft “pop”, sucking in air and licking his lips. “Mmn… don't you think that you taste good? It's so sweet,” he finished his sentence with almost a pleasured sound and a hum, indulging in the taste of Gavin still on his lips. “So good…,” he purred.

Gavin stood there, shocked and somehow a bit excited from the whole thing. “I… what? Wait-” He pushed himself away from Richard and wiped his mouth, starting to feel overwhelmed. “Okay, first off, I don't give a fuck if you wanna kill me or whatever freaky shit you're into, but you can't just go around kissing people! Especially with fuckin’... blood everywhere. That's weird, man,” he shook his head, walking off toward the kitchen and leaving Richard's personal space.

Richard gave him a sad look, sighing dramatically. “Oh, but how else may I cherish your beautiful physique?” He followed him like a puppy, neatly holding his hands behind himself, still holding his knife. “You won't tell on me, will you, my love?” He smiled sweetly, stopping at the opening of the kitchen where tile and wood floors met with a metal band in the middle.

“To be quite honest, I don't give a fuck at the moment. I just wasted the last of my paycheck for those douchebags’ dinner.” The man opened up his fridge, grabbing a beer. “Can't believe you wasted one of these on whatever-,” he turned to look behind himself at the living room where his roomates sat dead, “..the hell that was.”

Gavin sighed as he shut his fridge after he took the drink out, opening it and taking a sip. “You're not gonna leave them here are you?” He asked.

“Oh no, Gavin. I will take them. I'll find some sort of use for them. Their eyes are… exceptional, I suppose.” Richard looked at the scene as well and sighed dreamily. “Oh, it's so pretty, isn't it? They're so beautiful when they stare lifeless like that.” The man closed his eyes with a smile. “Mm.. it is such a shame I can not kill you, my precious, Gavin.” He looked back over at him, staring with bright and happy half lidded eyes. “You are too good to kill with those-,” his grip tightened on his knife, his eyes twitching into a slight glare, “ _ breathtaking  _ eyes of yours.”

Gavin gave him a weird look. “Okay… what about the mess? It's gonna smell like a morgue in here.” He sipped his beer, staring up at Richard with a natural bitch face. “I don't want cops crawling up  _ my  _ ass about this. You'll get caught quick, y'know,” he stated, walking past the other man to get a closer look at what had happened.

“Oh, but you don't know what else I've done without being caught.” Richard smiled at his work. “Killed, tortured, left for dead… oh my, it's so much fun! If only you knew what kind of rush it gives you, Gavvy.” He shook his hands side by side in excitement. “Their screams and God, when they beg? It's like a dream come true! Or when you say you'll let them live if they do something for you, then don't actually even make them do it and instead slit their throats?” He rambled on about it like it was nothing, a passionate glimmer shining in his eyes.

The man gave him another weird look. “Dude, I'm not into freaky, weird, sick shit like you are. I don't need all the details… and don’t call me Gavvy.” He shook his head. “Can you just take them out of here? And you're helping me clean up because you made the damn mess.” Gavin went to his door and locked it. Just in case. When he looked back at Richard, his head was down and he seemed to be pouting twisting the tip of his knife against his finger.

“Oh, why yes it is… sick, I suppose, my dear. But you see, it just…” He went back to smiling brightly at him. “It just feels so wonderful! If only you could understand.” The killer sighed as he slipped his knife into his back pocket. “I’ll help you clean up, love, do not fret.” Richard walked over to Gavin and stared, tilting his head for a moment. “Gavin… are you… really not going to tell on me?” He asked, smiling sadly with furrowed eyebrows.

“No.” Gavin turned to him, giving an emotionless stare. “I honestly couldn’t care less, like I told you. And I’m clearly not the one being killed so why should I care anyways?” It sounded heartless. Don’t get him wrong, he cared, knew this was bad and dangerous… but he was thinking about his own life right now. Plus, he hated those guys.

Richard seemed happy and let down all at the same time. “Wonderful… I may get another time to kill, then. Maybe a pretty woman… oh, her screams will be delightful, don’t you think?” The murderer looked at him with dull eyes but a bright and beautiful smile. Oh, that smile. It was so utterly entrancing and hypnotizing… no wonder so many people fell for his tricks.

Gavin shivered and put his beer down on the kitchen bar counter. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He glanced at the killer, staring for a moment. “You need help carrying them out?” he asked after a moment of thought to himself. Was he really asking to help with a murder?

Richard gave a smile to him. “Yes! Yes, please. I've been doing this for so long but dealing with the bodies is always the worst part.” He followed Gavin as he walked into the living room. “I have some things in my car. I wasn't expecting you to come so… I was honestly just going to leave them.” He giggled, walking right to the edge of the scene. “I still came prepared though.”

Gavin ignored his words, just nodding along. He didn't expect to be hiding his roommates bodies tonight, but damn, maybe some excitement in his life was worth it.

Richard told him he would be back in a few minutes, leaving the house. This left Gavin alone with his thoughts for a while, wondering if he should actually go through with this. He could get in a lot of trouble, after all. But, then again, it seemed like the man knew what he was doing.

After about ten minutes of waiting, Richard came back with big black garbage bags and another pair of gloves. “Here, love. We wouldn't want you getting too caught up in this mess, would we?” He smiled over at Gavin as he handed over the gloves.

Gavin slipped them on, the latex snapping against his wrist after he let go of one. Letting out a sigh, he watched as the killer got down to the floor, kneeling against the hard floor. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Helping a murderer cover up his tracks… it was crazy.

After a long process of pulling and lifting up three bodies, they got them each into garbage bags, Gavin just finishing tying the end of one bag. After they had finished that, the two of them spent about two hours cleaning up blood stains off the floor and even some on the table and couch. A long and hard process all to make sure neither of them would get in trouble.

"There." He dusted off his hands, putting them on his hips as he looked down at the bags that were settled into a corner of the room. Richard had left at some point to bring his car around to the back of Gavin's house, coming back in after a few minutes to take the bodies off of his hands.

Gavin helped carry the bodies, Richard taking two of them while Gavin took one. It was a tiring process, but soon they got all three of the bodies into the trunk of Richard's car.

Wiping his forehead of sweat, Gavin sighed, looking up at the man who just slammed shut the trunk. Noticing that Richard had still kept his gloves on, Gavin did the same. He had no idea what the steps of murder were, although, he did know he didn't want any evidence of himself. Even if he got in trouble, he had an alibi. He was out all night getting dinner.

"There. All done. Any more chores you want me to do for you, your highness?" Gavin teased, looking up at the other man.

Richard smiled softly at him, shaking his head. "No, my love. Nothing else. Thank you for helping me." He leaned down, pressing a kiss to Gavin's cheek as a thanks. "Maybe I will see you around after this… especially if you have promised to not tell on me." Richard reached up with his hand, lifting Gavin's face a bit by his chin. On his neck, he could see the cut he had left there. It was starting to darken and scab over. It would heal easily.

"I'd rather not see a killer again but whatever you say." Gavin pulled away a little, flustered at the touching. "...You promise I won't get in trouble?" Gavin asked.

Richard nodded, pulling his hand away and taking a step back. "Yes. I promise." Looking away, he pressed his lips together. "Thank you, again, Gavin." His smile he gave looked sad for a moment, but Gavin didn't have enough time to ask him about it as he turned to get into his car. The last thing he heard was a chipper "bye bye!" from the killer before starting his car.

As Gavin moved aside, he let Richard go. The plate of his car wasn't on the back… it was on the front. The man had to give him props for thinking of the likelihood of someone looking at the front of a car for the license. For a moment, Gavin felt like he wanted to see him again.

Nine, huh? On his neck. Gavin chuckled to himself as he turned to his house, going back inside. Nine.

He didn't know what it meant. However, felt very interested in finding out. If he ever saw that killer again, he was sure it would be the next morning in bed with him above him holding a knife.

The rest of the night, Gavin made sure the house was really clean, eating the now cold food he had bought for his dead roommates.

'God,' he thought to himself. 'What a waste of $38.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooof so nines a crazy baby. anyways, i should have more parts out soon :) sorry if things take a while for chapters, this is my first time being like. actually super dedicated to a fic so PLEASE be patient thank u


	2. Chapter 2

It had been almost a week—no, maybe longer—since Gavin had seen that killer. Honestly, he didn't expect to ever see him again. He never even got his name. Then again, that was probably for the killer’s safety.

Sighing behind the counter after having had just put in an order for a customer, Gavin thought for a long moment, thankful that no one else was in line at the moment. It was Saturday. Not many people worked today or had school, so less people came in for their morning coffee at 8:30 am. Even so,  _ he  _ had to work today.

Gritting his teeth, he tried to ignore the fact that he had to spend six more hours here. Don't get him wrong, he didn't necessarily  _ hate  _ his job. But, he would much rather be doing something a little more interesting than working as a barista at a local coffee shop. At least the pay was good and his coworkers weren't that bad, he supposed.

Soon dragged out of his thoughts, he heard the bell ring at the front door, signifying that someone had just come in. Dragging himself out of his thoughts, he put on a customer-service smile and stood in front of the register, clearing it for a new order.

“Hi, what can I get for you today?” he asked, looking up at the man who was currently looking down at his phone, looking up after a second. Gavin's eyes widened a little.

“Oh… Hello, Gavin,” the customer said happily with a smile. It was him. It was the same guy who killed his roommates only a week or so ago. Except, oddly enough, he looked so normal. How could he look so normal after having killed people? When Gavin had first met him he seemed insane. Smiling, laughing, licking actual human blood off of his knife… yet here he was, ordering something like any other normal human.

Gavin rested his hands atop the register, staring for what felt like hours before shaking his head, trying not to have a near heart attack. This was dangerous, wasn't it? “Uh… what did you want?” he asked, looking down at the screen to put in the order.

Richard gave him an odd look before stating his order. “Oh! Sorry, uh… a macchiato, and uh, one of those bagels, please,” he said, pointing over to one in the glass display. He seemed nervous too. Odd.

Gavin put in the order, hands shaking a little. “Uh, name?” he asked, feeling very uncomfortable asking the question. The murderer never gave his identity for a reason so if he gave it now… what would he do?

The man looked uneasy for a moment, but gave his name to Gavin anyways. “Richard,” he said softly, smiling at him. He pulled out his card to pay. Full name and all displayed on its front. Gavin could easily say who he was. He could easily turn him in after this. 

The thought of killing him crossed Richard’s mind… but he couldn't. It was too close to his last killing. Not to mention, he had said specifically that he wouldn't kill Gavin. Even though Gavin had promised he wouldn't tell on him either, he couldn't believe through and through that this man was so desensitized and careless that he just  _ wouldn't  _ turn him in.

But Gavin only glanced at his name, keeping it locked away in his mind for future reference. What Richard was doing was awful. But… he did promise. And although a bit scared for his own life, he also couldn't care all at the same time. If anything, he was just worried as to what Richard would do after this.

Swiping his card, he had Richard pay, put in his PIN, and waited for his receipt to print out. Ripping it off, he handed it over to Richard along with his card. “Your stuff will be ready soon.” He forced a smile, Richard doing the same before going off to a small table by one of the shop's windows.

Gavin switched out with another coworker and made the coffee. While he worked, though, he found himself glancing over at Richard the whole time.

He wasn't even  _ looking  _ at him. Gavin frowned a little. Did Richard even care that they knew each other? Something about his lack of sociability made him upset. Well, he went on break soon… and it didn't look like Richard was in a rush anyways. He'd talk to him, nervous or not.

Though, even as he thought about that, he couldn't bring himself to look Richard in the eyes when he called his name and put his stuff out for him to take.

After many minutes of looking over at Richard, preparing what he wanted to say, he was on break. Making himself a quick coffee, black, he walked over to Richard's table, gulping. “Hey uh, I'm on break. Do you mind me sitting here?” he asked, pointing to the seat across from the killer.

Richard looked up from him, seeming unsure at first but nodding after a few seconds of silence. “Yes, of course. Go ahead.” The man cleared his throat a little, shifting in his seat.

“You sure you want to sit with me during your break, love?”

God, his voice was so smooth and pretty. At least that was what Gavin thought. It was hard to remind himself that this man was a murderer when he sat across from him calling him sweet pet names. 

“Why not. Shit, you're the only person I really know here anyways.” He leaned against the table, head in his hand.

Richard reached over, gently smacking Gavin's arm. “Didn't I tell you before to not say bad words? You do not listen at all…” The man sipped from his drink, staring at Gavin over the brim. “Aren't you friends with  _ someone  _ here?” Richard asked, putting his cup down.

Gavin shook his head. “No. I'm here to make money, not friends after all.” The man chuckled, ignoring the scolding about his language. “Why are you here? Don't you… go into hiding or some shit?” Gavin's voice was softer, his torso leaning closer so Richard could hear him better.

“I'm heading to work. That's all.” Richard smiled at him, taking a bite of his bagel. “I don't usually take morning shifts… so this is my first time I've seen you. But I'm not complaining, Gavvy dear.” He blinked his lashes at him, clearly being a tease.

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Don't call me Gavvy. It's weird.” Even as he said this, he smiled at Richard. “Where do you work?” he asked, eyes then widening. Maybe he shouldn't be trying to get all close and personal with a killer. God, what if he thought he was trying to turn him in? What if he came over that night to kill him? What if-

“The nearest hospital from here, I work usually through the night on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays.”  _ Oh. _

Gavin stared at him, a long pause coming between them. So, Richard really did trust him with this information then. “I… I see. Wait, you-” He put his face in his hands, rubbing with a sigh. “You help people? But then…” He couldn't even finish his sentence. Richard would know what he meant to say.

Richard grabbed a napkin from the table, wiping his mouth of the crumbs that stayed on his face. Shaking his head, he smiled at Gavin. “I know what you're thinking. It's not like that, trust me.” Scrunching up the napkin into a ball, he put it down next to his cup to throw away when he was done.

“I do like helping people. Especially at the hospital. The people that come in, get their surgeries done, all that… they're so thankful and sweet.” The man smiled, genuine happiness radiating from him.

Gavin couldn't help but smile. “That's… nice, I guess.” Sipping his coffee, he eyed Richard for a second.

His hair was well kept, looked clean, he even smelled nice. His clothes were of course black. Black pants, black shoes… same black turtleneck he wore the first time he saw him. The only thing contrasting all that darkness was the light brown fuzzy hood of his coat.

In all genuine honesty, Gavin could say Richard was a very attractive man. Perfect, toned, and lean figure. Perfectly proportioned in all the best ways possible. And god, his eyes. Ocean blue eyes that were adorned with long and dark lashes.

Who knew a serial killer could look like a model?

“...Why not take a picture, love? It'll last longer,” Richard said, a smirk on his face when Gavin looked up at him.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean,” Gavin taunted, looking away after putting his cup down. He knew what it meant. But he sure as hell didn't feel like admitting to it. It was weird enough to get the hots for a serial killer.

“You know what it means,” he replied. Rolling his eyes, he took another bite of his bagel. Covering his mouth a little, he continued on. “I know the eyes of a man who's a little more than interested in someone... or something.”

God, was he trying to actually kill him? Gavin didn't look at him, cheeks heating up. Richard was flirting with him. Was that a killing tactic? To sweet talk him, lure him to his home, then kill him? “I'm- shit… I'm not-” He scoffed, shaking his head and glancing at the table. “I never said I was interested.”

Richard stared at him, lips curling into a smile. Biting at the inside of his cheek, he glared a little. “And you never said you weren't either.” His fingers came up to walk across the table, over onto Gavin's arm. Touching him made his heart race.

“You're one crazy motherfucker, y'know that?” Gavin turned his body in his seat, not stopping the other from touching him. “How do I know this isn't a set up?” Gavin had a small smirk on his face, trying his best to lighten the mood and mess with Richard.

The taller man's smile faltered a little. “I have no such desire to do that to  _ you _ , my love.” A simple, snappy response. “I've only known you for… two days now and, to be quite frank, if something did happen to you I wouldn't know what to do with myself.”

“You're such a liar, Richard.” Gavin looked away again. Then felt the hand on his arm come around to hold it.

“I am  _ not _ . I find you to be quite priceless. Even if your eyes are…” He trailed off, becoming quieter, “...absolutely gorgeous.” Richard loosened his grip on Gavin's arm, clearing his throat. “Though, I do understand if my advances are denied. I will not pressure you, dear.”

“No!” Gavin snapped, eyes widening for a moment at his realization of his reaction. “No- I… sorry. Sorry, fuck I'm- I just haven't, like, been out with anyone, the whole flirting thing, all that for a long time. That's all,” he said, slowly reaching for Richard's hand. “I'm not… denying you.”

Richard gave him a look, surprised. “Then… are you busy next weekend? I'm not working next weekend, so…” Trailing off, he reached to hold one of Gavin's fingers in his hand.

Richard didn't even think twice about what a relationship would cost him. He didn't think twice about what this meant for later in his life. He didn't think twice about wanting to have  _ something  _ with Gavin.

The green eyed man smiled. “I'm not busy next weekend. Why don't uh… you come over for dinner.” Gavin but his bottom lip, heart racing because of the possibility of actually getting a date with one of the prettiest men he had ever seen. “You already know where I live, don't you?”

“916 Randall Mill St. Clarkston, MI 48348, to be very exact.” Richard grinned, knowing very well how creepy that sounded.

But Gavin kind of liked it.

“See me at 6, yeah? On Saturday?” He started to stand up, break over in only a few more minutes. His eyes looked hopeful, bright, and excited.

Richard smiled up at him, nodding. “Yes. I'll be there on the dot.”

Gavin spared him one more smile, winking at him before he turned to get back to work. “I'll see you then- oh, wait.” Gavin snapped his head back, pulling a pen out from his apron pocket, grabbing a napkin and writing something on it before actually going back to his station.

When Richard looked down at the napkin, Gavin's phone number was written with a heart at the end. God, he felt so in love. But it could have just been a crush… yet that didn't stop him from daydreaming about the barista for the rest of his breakfast and even after he left for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh shit??? oh shit they gonna meet up. also if u couldn't tell this isnt much of a slow burn mainly bc theres. a lot more story i have planned so fuck slow burn lets get to some PLOT right? right yeah ok ANYWAYS i hope u enjoyed uwu


	3. Chapter 3

A date. Richard hadn't had a legitimate date in… ever, actually. Any kind of "date" he took someone on was for the sole purpose of just killing them later.

At the moment, though, he was on his way to his brother’s house, ready to tell him about what had happened the day before.

The two would occasionally meet up like this. Connor would make them both dinner, have drinks, or just talk. Richard always enjoyed it. His brother was the most important person in his life, always had been. As kids, he felt like Connor was the only person he could play with or talk to about anything. Of course though, later in life as they grew up, he realized he couldn't depend on his big brother for everything.

As he drove, he felt more and more excited to see Connor. They hadn't actually gotten to hang out for a few weeks. Either Richard was busy with work or Connor had a big case on his hands; life seemed to always get in the way.

Richard remembered a time where nothing got in the way. Nothing came between them. However, adulthood wasn't that forgiving, clearly.

As he drove, he just tried to focus on the road rather than all those depressing thoughts. He was seeing Connor now, that was what mattered.

Soon, he drove up into his brothers driveway, the gravel underneath his car making loud crackling sounds. He smiled, glad to see the home again. Though the yard was plain, only a potted plant or two on Connor’s porch, he still liked it.

Taking his keys out of the ignition, he pocketed them before stepping out of the car. Closing the car door, he let out a sigh. Richard was beyond excited to get to meet with Connor.

Walking up to the porch, he looked over at the potted plants, realizing they were drying out. Connor wasn’t one to just suddenly stop caring for his house and the things in it or around it. He’d had seemed a lot more busy in the past few months. Maybe Richard was just reading too much into it.

Knocking, he put on a smile, then stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. After a few seconds, he could hear someone walking toward the door, unlocking it, then opening it. On the other side of the screen door in front, Connor’s face lit up.

“Hey, man! Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen you in forever.” Connor opened up the screen door, walking out to hug his brother. “Come in, tell me how your life’s been and shit.” The detective walked back in, holding the doors open for Richard.

After Richard followed, Connor closed the doors, stepping in front of his brother. “Sorry if the place is a mess, I’ve uh- I’ve been pretty busy. The station’s got me backed up with work, yadda yadda, you know how it goes.” He chuckled, going over to his coffee table to pick up a few things to throw away. “Make yourself at home, Rich. Let me just clean up a little, make us something to drink, then we can do whatever, okay?”

Richard took off his coat, smiling. “You panic too much. Calm down.” Folding his coat over his arm, he walked over to the teal couch, sitting down on one end to leave space for Connor on the other.

In the kitchen, he could hear Connor making a drink. Tea, he knew. Connor had told him before that he was trying to cut back on caffeine, so he wasn’t surprised when his brother came back with two cups of hot tea.

“Thank you,” Richard muttered, blowing lightly on the drink before taking a sip. He missed it. Now he usually would drink coffee. Murderous plans weren’t enough to  _ always  _ keep him up at night, after all.

“How has work been treating you, Connor? I mean, other than the horrendous amounts of paperwork you have to do.” Smiling, he eyed Connor over the rim of his cup, taking another sip.

Shaking his head and shrugging, Connor sighed. “It’s just been… tiring. They want us back on that one case I’ve told you about. Seems like every time it almost goes cold, there’s another murder. We all know it’s from the same guy too, but…” Trailing off, he held his cup tighter. “I dunno. Kind of wish we could just catch the bastard and call it a day, y’know?” The man sipped his tea, looking down at the floor.

Richard nodded, smiling. “What did you find this time?”

Connor gave him an unsure look. “It’s… kinda fucked up but…” Connor put his cup down, taking a deep breath. “We found three bodies in the woods a few days ago. All three of them in garbage bags.” He waved his hand, shaking his head from side to side a little. “They had been through hell, we knew that. Found the remnants of alcohol on them and their clothes. Their... whole bodies, actually.”

“When we took them back for an autopsy, we found no fingerprints, no DNA, nothing. Just the same ol’ marking the son of a bitch always leaves.Y'know,the nine?" Connor shifted in his seat, looking over at Richard. “He’s crazy, man. I just really want to get him off the streets.”

Nodding in understanding, Richard took another sip of his drink before placing it gently on the coffee table. “I know. I’m sure you’ll find him soon. He can’t be free for that long.” Richard shook his head at Connor.

Connor scoffed. “But he’s been free for, god, I don’t even know anymore, eleven- no, maybe twelve years? At least his first killings we think he did were back towards the end of 2006. I wasn’t even at the station when he started, I was just finishing up college.”

“So was I.” Richard raised his eyebrows at Connor. “Maybe this person is finally just… getting older. Maybe he’ll die of some disease and get what he deserves.”

The man across from him shook his head. “That’s the problem. We’ve had a few people who got away from the fucker and say he looks young. They say he wears a mask at all times so… they never see his face. There’s never ever enough to go off of.”

“Hm. He seems like he knows what he’s doing. I’m surprised you and the guys didn’t call him something else. The Nines Killer seems a bit plain, don’t you think?” Richard reached for his cup, taking a sip before placing it back down.

“What? You think I’m gonna come up with some fancy name for some serial killer? Hell no.” Connor chuckled, taking his own drink and resting it on his leg as he held it.

Richard smiled. “I suppose you’re right.”

Connor smiled a little too, staying quiet for a few seconds as he took a drink of his warm tea. “So, Rich,” he piped up eventually, glancing at his brother. “How have you been?”

Richard looked at him for just a second before looking back down and away. “I’m okay. Work is okay too. I, um, have a date with someone.” His heartbeat raced and his chest felt warm.

“Oh shit, really?” Connor scooted a little closer to his brother, his voice excited. “That’s really cool. Who’s the lucky girl?”

Richard shook his head. “No- uh, it’s… it’s a guy. His name is Gavin. I met him at that one coffee shop I go to before work.” Smiling, he looked over at Connor. “He’s really sweet. I think if you ever met him you’d really like him.”

Connor seemed surprised at first, but not let down in the slightest. Richard had went over how he felt about people, women and men. This wasn’t anything new.

“That’s great! I’m really happy for you, dude.” He patted his back, genuine happiness written over his face. “Is that really all you have to talk about though?” Connor leaned forward, getting a better look at his brothers face.

Nervous, Nines tugged at the sleeve of his turtleneck, pulling it down. “...Yes.”

Connor couldn’t know. He couldn’t know what he did to himself. If he did, he knew very well that the detective would tell him to go get help. And yes, he did need it. He needed it desperately; he knew that. But telling his brother any of his issues now was practically forbidden.

“Richard… are you sure? You haven’t contacted me in weeks. I’m just… worried. The last time you came here-”

“I told you it was just a panic attack, Connor! I was stressed from work. Having a big surgery the same day really does things to you. But I promise, I’m okay.” Richard put a comforting hand on Connor’s shoulder.

Connor frowned a little. “I just… I care about you and know shit is still tough. I’m sorry if I seem like I’m being an overbearing big brother.”

Shaking his head, he smiled at Connor. “No no, I get it. You’re just looking out for me, Connor. It’s okay.” He prayed Connor would just leave it at that. He didn’t want to talk about the pain he went through most days. His brother had enough on his plate.

"Okay well… just let me know if anything's up, alright?" Connor gave the other a small, quick smile as he patted him on the back.

Richard nodded at him. Grabbing his cup, he took a last sip of the rest of his drink, setting it back down on the table afterwards. "I think I should go." The man stood, brushing himself off.

Connor frowned a little. "So soon? You don't want to stay for lunch or anything?" he asked, also standing up from his seat. "I can make you something real quick before you go-"

"No. It's alright, Connor. I have some… things to do anyways. I'll keep in contact though, okay?" With a smile, he slipped his jacket back on, running a hand through his hair. He just wanted to leave. Knowing all the things Connor thought about him if he knew what he did. He would never know. He also could never know of the things he still did to himself.

"Oh. Well, alright. You take care of yourself, okay? Call me sometime, we can talk again. It's nice." Connor placed a hand on Richard's back, leading him out.

"Yes, I will. Or at least I will try to. Work will always keep me busy after all," Richard said with a smile, tugging at the sleeves of his coat.

Desperately, he wished he could express to his brother what he did. But if he did, he would be put away for the rest of his life. He knew he would. He was nothing more than a monster who took lives for his own sick pleasure. And he knew that, yet never stopped.

If he did try to stop, things would only get worse. The last time he tried, he kept a girl in his basement for a week. Torturing her for days until she was useless to him. He knew well enough that torture was the worst way to go out, but he was so desperate for pain. So desperate to hear a victim beg for mercy. A funny thing, really. To think they'd be let go. Not in a million years would he let someone go if they saw his face.

"Yes, I understand. But still, try, alright?" Connor led his brother out to his car, the gravel crackling beneath their feet as they walked. "And tell me how your date goes. Don't have too much fun," he said with a wink, patting the top of Richard's car as he got into the driver's seat.

"No promises," Richard replied with a chuckle. "See you later, Con. Call me if you need anything." With that, he closed the door and started up his car. As he backed out of the driveway, he waved to Connor and he waved back with a smile.

The ride home was quiet. But his thoughts were loud and obnoxious. He was sure he could hear the words "liar" "murderer" and others in his head. Playing over and over like a scratched record player. He wanted it to stop, so badly he wished it would stop.

"Shut up...shut up," he whispered to himself as he drove home. This was no time to panic.

He had a date to get prepared for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the super late update!!! unfortunately school really kicked my ass but i should be back now because im on break!! also yes. Connor gets to be on nines' case. and doesn't even know its him. we stan


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: selfharm mention and also i think its common sense but dont pull a gavin and date someone like richard. gavins a special kind of gay as you can see.

All Richard’s mind was filled with was his name. Gavin Reed. The barista at the local coffee shop. The man he refused to murder because of his beautiful eyes. The phone number he longed to see text him after a tiring day at work. He drove him even more crazy than he already was, if that was even possible.

Days of self deprecation came along for the ride, though. His thoughts flooded with what ifs. If Gavin would turn him in, turn him down completely, who knew. He was driven to the point of giving his arms a few cuts, nothing too bad as he didn't want Gavin to see them and worry. But he was so nervous.

If he had time in the morning, he would come to Gavin's house, watch him through his windows behind some bushes. He knew what kind of coffee Gavin liked now. One spoon of sugar and one creamer packet. He rarely ate a real breakfast, it seemed. Gavin at most would have a slice of toast or some cereal  nothing more. Richard made a note to himself to make sure Gavin would eat better if they actually started a relationship.

Eventually, date night arrived. Richard didn't stalk his house for once, instead making an effort to actually look nice and be well dressed, be clean and smell nice, the whole shebang.

Gavin, on the other hand, was at home panicking. He still had dinner in the oven, some kind of frozen lasagna he picked up from the store that day. Did Richard even like lasagna? God, he hoped so. While he waited for it to cook, he got dressed. A grey t-shirt, some sort of faded writing and design on it. He eyed himself in the mirror. Nothing too fancy. The rest of the outfit entailed was some black pants, grey socks on; he didn't really need to put on any shoes. He was staying in anyways.

Walking back out of his room, he realized they had jack shit to drink. “Oh, shit!” he exclaimed, running a hand through his brown hair. “Shit shit shit,” he repeated, rushing into his kitchen to rummage through it for some kind of drink. No beer, no soda, no juice. Nothing. He didn't have time to go to the store either. They'd be stuck drinking tap water for the night then.

Through his panic, he heard the doorbell ring. Looking up at the microwave from the floor, having had just went through his whole fridge, he looked at the time. Six o'clock on the dot.

“Shit,” he grumbled one last time, standing up and brushing himself off. He could see Richard's figure from outside the door. He prayed to whatever God that was up there that this would go well and he wouldn't die. Walking over to the door, he took in a deep breath. This was it. Either the end of his life or the start of a new relationship. Again, who knew.

As he opened the door, he smiled. Of course, Richard was on the other side… holding a wine bottle.

“I hope you don't mind, I brought us something.” Richard smiled. He had a white t-shirt on, a black blazer to compliment it. His shoes and pants were also black, though that wasn't very surprising.

“You look… really nice,” Gavin said breathlessly. He was so thankful for Richard bringing that wine. The drink itself wasn't his first choice, but it was alcohol and it'd make him loosen up so that was all that mattered.

Not only did Richard look stunning, he smelled just as good. Fresh, clean, the smell of peppermint somewhere in the mix. It was so alluring. Gavin just wanted to lay on his chest and take in his scent for the rest of the night. Maybe, if things went well, he'd be able to do just that.

“Shit- sorry, come on in.” He moved aside for Richard, opening the door a bit more. The killer smiled at him and walked inside. The click of his heels was so familiar on that wooden floor. The same shoes he wore the night that he met him. “I'm, like, really glad you brought something to drink. I kind of forgot to get something for us.” He scratched the back of his head nervously as he watched Richard come in. Even though he’d been here before, naturally he was still nervous about him seeing his home.

Living without his roomates made keeping the house tidy a lot harder, but there was less dishes to clean, less arguments, less spending money on food, and he was, luckily, still able to afford rent. Even if their deaths were awful, Gavin couldn't really bring himself to care at the moment. He had a hot date in his house, that was what mattered.

“It's quite alright, love. What are you making? It smells really good.” He sniffed the air, humming in satisfaction as he rounded the couch, coming to sit down. He placed the wine bottle down, staring blankly at the table for a second before clapping his hands together. “Wine glasses! That's what we need. Do you have any?” he asked.

Nodding, Gavin closed the front door and walked over to the kitchen. “Yeah, we should have some.” He searched through his cupboards for only a moment or two before finding some, grabbing two and closing the cupboard door. On his way out, he also grabbed a corkscrew. “It's lasagna, by the way. You like that, right? If not, we can totally go somewhere to eat instead-”

“No, that's not necessary. I like it, it's fine, Gavin.” He reassured him, patting the spot next to him on the couch. “Relax, Gavvy. Be yourself.” The man took one of the wine glasses and placed it down, grabbing the corkscrew as well and twisting it into the top of the wine bottle.

Gavin watched him with a little entertained smile as he sat down. “Know what you're doin’?” he asked, chuckling softly when Richard seemed to struggle for a moment.

“Yes, I'm perfectly fine. You act like some kind of wine expert when you just make coffee for a living,” he teased. Once the screw was in, he pulled up, a loud pop echoing into the house. Thankfully, no mess was made and he put the tool down, lifting the bottle to pour some wine into their glasses.

Gavin muttered a thanks to Richard, swirling the wine a bit before taking a sip. “Not bad. Is wine like your choice of drink or somethin’?” he asked.

“Yes. I'm not much of a drinker, anyways. When I do drink though, it's usually wine. Red wine in particular.” Richard took a sip from his own glass, savoring the bittersweet taste it had. Who knew there was a drink in the world that was so special to him. Its red color, its sweet yet oh so bitter taste… just like blood. God, did he love that.

Gavin continued to gently swirl his wine glass, staring at Richard. He looked so nice. It was so hard to believe he was a murderer. “So, uh… how did work go after you left the shop last Saturday?” he asked.

Richard shrugged. “It was alright. People came in for small things thankfully, no big surgeries and stuff.” He was honestly a little disappointed. Getting to help out with things like that made him happy. Sure, killing people was always fun, the sight of blood was also too good to be true, yet he never harmed anyone on purpose at his job. Those people were already helpless or dying. There was no need to take their life from them like that.

“How about you?” Richard asked. “How has your week been doing you? Any bad customers?” He smiled a little over his glass as he took another sip, licking over a drip that was on his lip.

Gavin watched him as his heart skipped a beat. What a tease. “Just one. One impatient motherfucker that gave me the most intricate order of the century. I messed it up once, had to redo it and he got mad, ended up just leaving. We wasted a shit ton of ingredients on that asshole.” Turning in his seat, he looked over at the clock. About 15 more minutes until the food was done.

“I see… did you get his plate?” Richard smiled wider, a strange look in his eyes that could only be described as passion and excitement. “Because if he causes you any problems-”

Gavin almost choked on his drink, shaking his head. “No, no! God, Rich, you don't have to go kill someone just because they were a dick to me.” He sighed, putting his glass down. “You are one crazy dude, y'know that?” He smiled a little, leaning against the couch.

Richard smiled back at him. “Only for you, dear.” He swirled his wine, not breaking eye contact with Gavin. “The moment I laid my eyes on you, Gavin, I knew you were special.” He leaned forward a little. Getting a better look at Gavin’s eyes he could see some brown, little hints of soft yellows to make a beautiful hazel-green color. “You… really don't care about what I do, don't you?”

Gavin shook his head. “No… I don't care, I told you that. As long as it's not me.” He bit his bottom lip, looking down. “You seem so nice. How?”

Richard shrugged, glancing at Gavin's lips for only a second before flicking his gaze back up to his eyes. “Oh, darling, I have so much love to give. I just don't know how.”

“Do you want me to show you one of the ways to give something nice to another person?” Gavin's eyes were narrowed halfway, voice low and quiet. He talked like as if someone heard them, they'd get in trouble. Something about Richard was so fucking  _ alluring _ . He wanted all of him even with his crazy mind. If he didn't take this chance, he'd regret it. He knew for a fact he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

“Yes.” Richard breathed out, grip tightening on his wine glass. “Yes please.” His heart was racing and his chest felt like it was on fire.

Gavin smirked, reaching up and grabbing Richard's face, pulling him closer and pressing his lips against the others. The first kiss was so sweet, tender, and loving. The second one came with a taste. The taste of wine, cigarettes, and something else. Metallic. Blood. Being so close to Richard made him realize how he even smelled like blood a little.

Eyes closed tight, Gavin savored each kiss. The third was deep, little hints of lust on their tongues. Gavin couldn't tell if it was the alcohol or he was merely drunk on love, but God, he wanted nothing else but to be close to Richard and kiss him all night. The kiss mingled with giggles and little sounds of want and need.

Dripping sounds made Gavin open his eyes. Why did his knee feel damp? Pulling away and looking down, he saw Richard's glass spilling over his leg. “Oh shit!” he laughed, standing up quickly and staring down at his clothes. Thank God they were black pants.

The killer who still sat on the couch gasped, realizing what had happened. “Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!” He put the glass down, smiling and laughing at himself and his dumb accident. “I completely forgot I still had a drink in my hand.” He stood up, avoiding the spill on the floor. “I can clean it up. Oh, I'm sorry.”

Gavin shook his head. “No, it's fine, don't worry.” He went over into the kitchen to grab a few paper towels, first trying to wipe himself off, then bringing some over to Richard to help clean up. He handed him a few, ripping some off for himself before getting down to wipe it up.

Richard took it upon himself to try wiping off the couch, which had gotten a few drips on it, then helped Gavin clean up the floor. “Well, that was a waste of wine,” he grumbled.

“Yeah but the kiss wasn't,” he teased, winking at the other when he looked up at him. “We still have a whole bottle to drink, it's fine.” As he wiped up the last bits left on the floor, he heard the oven ding. “Fuck, hold on,” he muttered as he got up, throwing the paper towels away on his way into the kitchen.

After turning off the oven, he grabbed an oven mitt. Opening the oven, he avoided the heat and grabbed the food out, letting out quiet curses to himself from the heat that did manage to get him. Placing the tray down, he took off the mitts and sighed. “Alright, food's done.”

Richard had cleaned up the damp spots that were left on the wood floor, getting up to throw away the used paper towels. “You should wait for it to cool off a little before you cut it,” he said as he walked up behind Gavin who was clearly ready to do just that. “It looks good.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around Gavin, his sleeve riding up a little. He pulled it back down, praying that Gavin saw nothing.

Gavin thankfully didn't see anything, instead melting back into Richard's arms with a happy sigh. “Mm… what are you, a cooking expert?” he asked with a little laugh. Richard was so warm. His arms around him felt oddly comforting, even if he knew any second Richard could grab that knife and slit his throat. Even with that knowledge, Richard's arms felt like nothing but safety.

“No, just have some common sense is all.” Richard leaned down to press a kiss to the back of Gavin's neck, smiling. “Do you have work tomorrow?” he asked, still holding Gavin close, them starting to sway a little while waiting for the food to cool.

Gavin nodded. “Yeah, why?” He tilted his head back to look up at Richard, feeling so in love the longer he looked into those pretty blue eyes.

“I thought that maybe I could come visit you. Tell me when you have break tomorrow and I can stop by. How's that sound, my love?” He pressed more soft kisses to Gavin's neck, taking in the scent of his cologne. Getting to touch and kiss Gavin like this was so nice. It was the first time someone trusted him enough to do those things with no upcoming threat afterwards.

Gavin smiled. “I'd love that.” After a few more minutes of small talk, the food was cool enough to cut and eat.

The rest of the night consisted of sweet whispers over dinner, getting to know each other, and other things they just randomly brought up. Gavin had to resist the urge the whole night to climb into Richard's lap and kiss him like his life depended on it. Even after they said their goodbyes, Gavin couldn't stop thinking about the killer.

The way he talked was so sweet. Richard was a gentleman and so much more. He couldn't describe the attraction he felt without it sounding needy and desperate. Let’s just face it, though, he was  _ very  _ desperate for that man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! they had a date :) again, sorry its not very uh slow burn. or even. makes much sense but like i said before, everything has more plot in it rather than focusing on all the romance only yknow? anyways they're canon. i love them. i also love rich. He's baby. ok bye


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW warning!! lots of gay shit. also knifeplay. also a self harm mention k bye

After that night, Richard came to visit the next day at work. He got the same kind of coffee as well as a bagel, talking to Gavin his whole break. He talked him up the whole time, saying he missed Gavin. Other times when he would visit, he would stay longer than normal. It was kind of creepy to have him watch him work for so long, but he supposed that’s what happened when you dated a serial killer.

After two weeks of this, Gavin was frustrated. Neither of them had time for a date. Either Richard had work or community service–he had mentioned he did community service to Gavin during their last date–so things were always in the way. Tonight, Gavin would be closing up shop. No one was left in the shop, the last few minutes being used to wipe off tables and clean off the equipment for the next day.

As he stood behind the counter, putting away something, he heard the bell go off at the door. “Sorry, we're closing righ-” Looking up, he saw Richard walking in. “Richard!” He smiled brightly. “Baby, where were you today? Work?” he asked, frowning a little.

Richard nodded at him. “Mhm. I'm sorry I didn't get to come in sooner, I was very busy.” He went around to where orders were usually picked up, leaning against the counter. “Wanna make an exception for me to make  _ one  _ more coffee?” He smiled at Gavin.

If it was anyone else he would have said no. Smirking, he thought about it for a moment. “Fine. Nothing special though, I just put everything away.” Gavin went to grab a cup as well as everything he needed for a basic cup of coffee.

“Fine with me.” The man pulled out his wallet, handing over a ten dollar bill. “Here. Sorry, I forgot my card at home.” He eyed Gavin, feeling bad deep down. He hadn't seen Gavin like this in a while. To be able to talk for more than just 10 or 15 minutes.

Gavin took the money, putting it in the register and taking out the change, handing it back to Richard before getting back to making his coffee. “So… I've noticed you've been busy a lot, actually. I get it, but… y'know. I miss you.” The man looked over at him from his station.

“I miss you too. I'm sorry, dear.” Richard sighed, leaning a little more over the counter. “I missed you every day I was at work. Y'know what I thought about?” He smirked a little.

Gavin stared down at the coffeemaker, grabbing the carafe and gripping it a little tighter. “What'd you think about?” he asked, glancing at him.

Richard stared at him. “You. Kissing you, touching you.” His breath hitched in his throat as he watched Gavin pour the coffee into a foam cup, adding sugar and some creamer. “The night we met… It was so hard to hold back. I wanted to ravish you, Gavin.”

Gavin walked over to him after finishing his cup, placing it down in front of him. “Really? What else were you thinking about, baby?” He asked, leaning against the counter. God, if there weren't cameras in there he would have pulled Richard over the counter and made out with him like there was no tomorrow.

Richard took the cup, bringing it to his lips. “...Dirty things,” he said simply. Gavin had learned quickly in their relationship that Richard hated to swear. Though it put a barrier in things he would have wanted to say, he'd rather not curse. “Things like you under me.” He paused, looking the other up and down for a moment. “You begging for more, screaming my name… you like how that sounds, dear?”

Gavin shivered, a small, barely audible sound escaping his throat. “Yes, God, I love how that sounds.” He tried to grip the counter, unbelievably desperate for Richard to just take him home and fuck him until he forgot his own name. “...Can you come over?”

Richard smiled. “Definitely.”

The two left the shop as quickly as possible, Gavin shaking a little as he locked it up, going to his car, Richard going to his own. Gavin’s mind was a blur the whole way home. All he could think about was dragging his hands all over Richard's body. Cherish it like a shrine. Show him what kind of a good time he was missing out on.

Parking in Gavin’s driveway, the shorter of the two struggled to get out his house key, shakily pushing the key in and unlocking the door. The second it was unlocked, he grabbed the keys, pulling Richard into the house aggressively.

The door was shut with Gavin pushing Richard against it, tossing the keys on a nearby table.Using one hand, he pulled his work hat off before gripping his lovers face, kissing him.

Richard melted into the kiss, shutting his eyes and pulling Gavin closer against his chest. He had never known such lust, love, and need. Murder used to keep him going. But now, he found something else to adore and treasure. Gavin's kisses, his lips, his body, all of it.

The killer tore his lips away from Gavin's, gripping his hair and tugging to expose his neck more, sucking the bare skin to the point of bruising. In the mix was kisses and bites, absolutely anything to make Gavin utterly breathless. Which he could easily do it seemed just by looking at him.

“Rich- oh fuck,” Gavin moaned, moving his hands to come around Richard's chest and keep him close. His nails dug into his black long sleeve, feeling every bite, kiss, suck, and lick over his neck. God, it was just foreplay and it felt so  _ good  _ already. “Please, God- come on. Bedroom,” he said through soft moans, trying to pull away but not really wanting to either.

Richard let Gavin tug him to his room, not looking away from him. Though, along the way, it was hard to keep his hands to himself. He kept trying to hold onto Gavin, kiss him, just something.

Once they were in the bedroom, Gavin pulled his work apron up over his head, tossing it to the floor as well as slipping off his shoes. Richard did the same, gripping Gavin by his waist when he got the chance to. Their lips locked into a deep and passionate kiss, the both of them moaning into each other's mouths with need.

In between heated kisses, Gavin giggled and spoke. “Is this...what you w-were thinking about? Huh, baby?” He gasped, feeling Richard grope his ass through his black work pants.

“Even better than what I was thinking,” he said through quickened breathing. He walked forward, returning to leaving kisses up and down Gavin's neck, multitudes of hickeys already starting to form over it.

Eventually, Gavin's legs hit the bed and he let himself fall back, bringing the killer with him. Moaning into their kisses, Gavin situated himself so that way Richard was in between his legs. He rolled his hips up, trying to get some sort of friction. Pulling away from the kiss, he rested his head back, giving Richard the opportunity to go back to kissing at his neck.

“God, you're gonna drive me crazy with that mouth of yours,” Gavin purred, biting his bottom lip and letting his hands follow the other downward. He could feel his shirt being lifted, Richard's mouth traveling from his neck to his chest. Taking a nipple into his mouth, he sucked, teeth grazing over the nub and making Gavin squirm under him.

“Baby- ugh, fuck,” Gavin moaned out, his hand going to run through his hair, then gripping the sheets above his head as he grinded more up against the other. His head was spinning. “Let me see you,” he muttered, opening his eyes a bit and looking up at Richard.

The man above him popped his mouth off of Gavin's chest, eagerly grabbing for the bottom of his long sleeve and pulling it up over his head. He looked like a predator hunting its prey. Gavin felt helpless under him. Looking him up and down, he saw a perfectly toned and pale body, moles sprinkled over the porcelain like skin.

However, as Richard leaned back down to kiss him, Gavin glanced at his arms, suddenly stopping him. Tons of red lines. Scarred and fresh cuts alike scattered his forearm and biceps.

“Hey- hey wait a second.” Gavin sat up, grabbing his arm. Once Richard seemed to realize what was wrong, he tugged his arm away. Gavin looked up at him, slowly frowning. That look of desperation and hunger seemed to fade a little.

Gavin reached up, holding his lover's face in his hand. “Baby… Richard, why are you doing that to yourself?” He sounded worried, heartbroken. “Please tell me.”

Richard put his hand over his left arm, trying to hide the cuts. “It's nothing. It's nothing, dear.” Shaking his head, he looked away.

“This isn't nothing. Tell me what made you do this to yourself.” Gavin sounded stern, mainly because he was so concerned. He knew Richard had problems, obviously. But he never expected it to be like that.

Richard looked into his eyes for a moment, debating what he should say. Gavin wouldn't hurt him. “...I was scared. I've never had such appreciation for someone like I do for you. I didn't… I-I didn't know how to handle my emotions and I...” He looked down again. Gavin would leave him, wouldn't he? See that he was nothing but a crazy, problematic mess and leave him. “I understand if you want to no longer see me.”

Gavin shook his head. “Rich, God… no, I don't want to stop seeing you.” He leaned up, kissing Richard's cheek. “...I care about you. Okay? I know all about the weird shit you do, all your baggage, all the trouble  _ I  _ can get into yet I still want to be with you.” He smiled up at him. “I don't want to leave you. Please, don't hurt yourself over me. Please, don't.” He took Richard's arm, rubbing a thumb over the scars. “I care about you a lot, Richard… I care so much,” he repeated, taking Richard's face and pulling him into a loving kiss.

Richard felt a weight lifted off his shoulders when Gavin kissed him and said that he cared about him. He muttered something in between kisses, though Gavin couldn't hear it. At the moment though, it didn't matter.

Pulling Gavin up into his lap, Richard held him so close, kissing him with desire. He loved Gavin so much. Every inch of himself was filled with love and want for the other man, though had no idea how to express it right. His despair wasn't going to come between them, however.

Shifting on the bed, he laid Gavin back down onto the pillows, his hands guiding themselves down to Gavin's waist to raise his hips. Their lips never broke apart, love and lust intertwining in each kiss they shared.

After what seemed like minutes of making out Gavin pulled back, flushed and panting. Looking up at Richard with half lidded eyes, he breathed out, “please f-fuck me, Richard. Please do all of the things you thought about doing to me.”

The killer above him smirked a little. “...What'd I say about that mouth of yours?” He sat up, fingers starting to mess with the button of Gavin's pants, undoing it and unzipping them. Scooting back, he gripped Gavin's pants and helped him get them off, boxers coming right after.

“Maybe you should teach me to behave then.” He smirked, pushing himself up on his elbows to watch Richard undress himself completely. Gavin still wore his work shirt, but honestly didn't mind having it on. As he watched Richard take off his pants, he also seemed to take out a little metal tool. When he placed it on the bed, Gavin took it upon himself to grab it. Messing with it enough made a blade pop out. A pocket knife.

“You really just carry this around with you?” Gavin chuckled nervously, holding onto it still. 

Richard eyed him as he finished getting undressed, tossing his clothes somewhere on the floor. “Yes. But… if you allow it, it can be used for different things.” He smirked, holding his hand out for his knife back.

Gavin was uneasy at first, but still gave it back. “What kind of things?” he asked, spreading his legs a little so Richard could settle himself back in between them. “You're not planning on actually killing me, are you?”

Richard had to laugh. “What? No… no, my love. Nothing like that.” Bringing the knife down, he dragged it over the other man's chest, smiling. “Just… a little bit of play. I still do fantasize about you bleeding out you know.” He dug the knife down just a  _ little,  _ but not enough to cut Gavin or anything.

The unsureness on whether Richard would hurt him or not made Gavin's heart race. He didn't know if it was fear or excitement though. “...You wouldn't make it hurt would you?” he asked. Gavin was curious.

Shaking his head, Richard brought the knife up to Gavin's face. “I wouldn't make it painful on purpose, no, my love. Just enough to sting… it'll hurt so good, darling. I promise,” he whispered as he pressed kisses down to Gavin's neck, the blade grazing over the other side. “I'll make you feel  _ so  _ good, sweetheart.”

His voice made Gavin shudder underneath him. He was so desperate. So fucking hungry for some kind of physical attention. At this point, he didn't care what was done to him. After making a decision, he nodded to Richard. “Just be gentle, okay?” He looked up at Richard, little hints of fear in his eyes.

Richard held his face in his hand, nodding. “I will. I'll be so gentle, Gavin.” He kissed his cheek a few times, bringing the knife back down to Gavin's torso, lifting up his shirt a bit as he stared over his skin. He could tell the other was nervous. He would be careful. The most careful he had ever been in his entire life.

Gliding the blade over his chest he stopped over a pec, rubbing over it with his thumb. Giving a look of wonder to Gavin, the other nodded at him, giving permission to go on. The man then kept his eyes on the prize, slowly bringing the knife up and inch or two before pushing down, gentle and slow.

Gavin hissed out in pain, the sting burning his skin. His heartbeat picked up, the cut starting to bleed. He could feel the sting turn into throbbing pain, him panting softly to try and ignore it. He just wanted to please Richard.

The killer muttered an apology, watching the blood slowly drip out from the wound onto his knife. “Mm… yes, that's so pretty, Gavvy,” he purred, letting out a soft moan. “Look at that…” He reached up, lifting Gavin's head to stare at the bleeding wound. “God, you're so perfect, darling.” Richard carefully swiped a finger over the cut, picking up blood and staring at it.

Licking over his finger, he hummed in satisfaction. Gavin stared at him, finding something so sexy about what he was doing. He wanted more. The taboo of the situation was so exciting. Fucking a serial killer. Letting him do what he wanted. God, Gavin fucking loved it.

Richard could see the lust in his eyes and he smirked, lifting the knife up in between them. “...Want a taste, Gavvy? You taste so good, why don't you try.” The man was nearly begging him to do it.

No matter how fucked up it was, Gavin couldn't say no. Lifting his head, he stuck his tongue out, dragging it up the blade and licking off his own blood from it. A whimper escaped him when Richard did the same, their tongues meeting at the tip of the knife and sliding into each other's mouths. The taste was odd, but not bad either. The wound still stung but God, Gavin couldn't remember the last time he was this excited during foreplay.

Richard dropped the knife somewhere off to the side on the bed, lapping at any drops of blood that dripped out of Gavin's mouth.

Gavin couldn't take it anymore. He didn't care if it hurt like hell, he desperately wanted to just be fucked into the mattress by quite literally the sexiest man he had ever met in his life. “Rich- mmn,” he moaned into the kiss. “Please, p-please just fuck me already. Please, baby,” he begged, gripping Richards shoulders.

“Shouldn't I-” Richard was cut off by Gavin roughly grinding his hips against his own, shaking his head.

“Don't prep me or nothin’. I don't care about any of that shit, it can bite me in the ass tomorrow. I just want you.” Gavin stared into Richard's eyes, more needy than ever. “Use spit or somethin’ because there is no way in hell I'm letting you leave this damn bed for  _ anything. _ ”

Richard stared at him quietly for a moment, blinking a few times in surprise before just doing as he was told. Spitting down into his hand, he slathered himself with his saliva, the sight alone making Gavin let out a whine.

“I'll try not to hurt you,” Richard said as he shifted in between Gavin's legs, using a hand to align himself with his entrance before slowly pushing himself inside. The feeling made Richard groan in pleasure, having to force himself to not just go all in without thinking.

Gavin lolled his head back, eyes rolling as he ignored any pain. “Shit,” he cursed, a hand coming down to Richard's hips to try and stop him for a moment. He couldn't tell at this point if it was because it felt too good or because it hurt at the same time.

Richard hushed him gently, moving his hands to massage at hips with his thumbs. “Does it hurt, love? Hm?” he whispered, sliding further into Gavin. Eventually, he was able to push all the way in, settling himself until Gavin gave him the go ahead.

Gavin shook his head. “No, fuck- ugh, God. Please just- move,” he stuttered, turning his head to the side, panting softly. His hands came up to Richard's back, pulling him closer. 

Nodding a little, Richard watched his hips, his hair falling over his face as he started to pull his hips back and bring them forward again, repeating the action until he had a steady pace going. God, it felt so good. Sure, he had slept with a victim before, consensually, obviously. But never had he slept with someone he actually truly loved. This meant something to him. Being able to make another person feel good without knowing he would kill them afterwards.

He could make Gavin feel good. The thought alone urged him on, him grabbing Gavin's hips and keeping them in place as he fucked him.

Gavin gasped, back arching up off of the bed and his brows furrowed. “God, yes! Please, more, give me more,” he moaned out, letting go of Richard to lift himself up a bit, trying to open his eyes to watch Richard fuck him. “You're so g-good, mm,” he purred, glancing up at his boyfriend.

Richard panted, looking at Gavin, them maintaining eye contact for a good couple of seconds. That alone made Gavin melt under him, his hands pulling Richard's off of his hips so he could easily grip his wrists. Letting out whimpers of pleasure, he tried to keep his eyes open to just stare into Richard's eyes.

“You're s-so pretty like this, Gavin.” Richard smiled at him, leaning in for a lazy kiss. Each thrust earned him a moan from the man beneath him, which only made him fuck him harder.

Gavin pulled back with a cry mixed with a moan, losing his strength to hold himself up and fell back onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Richard's neck as he inched closer and closer to climax. “Fuck, you're so amazing, yes, baby.” Gavin let out a satisfied and pleased giggle, gasping at the end of it. Squeezing his eyes shut, he locked his ankles around Richard's hips. “Make me c-cum, please, Richard,” he panted into the killer's ear.

The blue eyed beauty sucked and bit harshly at his neck, panting and moaning as well. However, upon hearing that Gavin was close, he pulled back, using a hand to grip Gavin's hair and keep his head in place to look at him. “Go a-ahead, Gavin. Cum, my love. Cum for me,” he thrusted his hips faster, watching Gavin's face contort into lewd expressions.

The shorter of the two panted, gasping for air as he looked up at his lover. A few thrusts into his sweet spot sent him over the edge, causing him to shut his eyes and squirm under Richard. A loud and erotic moan came from him, cumming over his and Richard's stomachs.

The priceless look on Gavin's face sent Richard reeling, moving his hips until he hit climax, releasing inside the other with a moan of his name.

Riding out his orgasm, he slowly stopped moving inside the other, pulling out and watching for a moment as cum dripped out of Gavin. He smirked, gaze moving over to his fucked-out boyfriend's face.

The brunette was panting, body still twitching a little from his orgasm. He brought an arm over his eyes, catching his breath. Tiredly, he waved his arm over to Richard, motioning for him to come closer. “Come here, let me love the shit out of you cuz’ that was amazing.” He chuckled a little, eyes still closed from behind his arm.

Richard let out a tired and lazy laugh as well, scooting up close to Gavin's side and pressing kisses to the underside of his jaw. A gentle smile stayed on his lips and quiet, loving whispers escaped his lips while Gavin came down from his sex high.

"Mm… who knew you of all people would be good at making me feel good," Gavin purred, moving his arm so he could actually look over at the other. He smiled and turned over to properly face him.

Richard traced a finger over Gavin's chest, smirking. "Oh? What, you think I wouldn't know how? Of course I do, love. It was work for a long time, to get what I wanted. I'd hope I'm good at it."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Richa-"

"Nines," Richard said softly, eyeing Gavin's lips.

Gavin raised an eyebrow at the other, confused. "What?"

"Nines," he repeated, his eyes flicking up to meet Gavin's gaze. "Call me Nines."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh they FUCKIN. and now we got our boy NINES. they really fucked on chapter 5 also. because im impatient and dont know how to write a proper story. but its ok. because i have to write the next chapter which . will definitely be something. trust me, it'll finally get the ball rolling a little on some shit thats going on with richard. or rather, has been going on ;)


	6. Childhood: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: lets just say uh. amanda isnt a good mom. child neglect and stuff. so please proceed with caution.

"Tomorrow I become a 2nd grader, Pepper." The child smiled at his stuffed cat.

Richard had grown used to this. Mom was always too busy to play and Connor was usually busy, playing off with his own friends. Talking to his stuffed animals brought him comfort, though. They didn't always respond, but that was okay.

Most people he talked to didn't either, anyways. 

"We should celebrate with a tea party, shouldn't we, Pepper?" He waited for a response, never getting one, yet he was satisfied. "You're right. I should ask mommy to help us make some tea. And snacks!" He giggled, standing up, picking up the black and white stuffed cat and holding it tight. 

As he walked out, he looked down the hall. It was so dreary. The house was old, the kind that would make creepy sounds at night from settling. Richard always said there were ghosts, but of course, no one believed him. 

Frowning, he held the cat tighter, hesitantly walking down the hallway to the living room. The television was on; some sort of soap opera, it seemed. Richard always found those shows to be interesting, but his mom wouldn't let him watch them. They were for "adults" only and he wouldn't understand it, is what she told him. But he did understand. 

His mother wasn't watching the show, though. Instead, she was reading a book. On the coffee table in front of her was an ID card for her work. She was a professor at a school, she had told both Connor and Richard. "Amanda Stern" was in bold letters with a picture of her on the front. She looked so cold.

"Mama," he piped up, walking over to where she was sitting and patting her leg. "Mama, can you please make tea?" He stared up at her with hopeful eyes. She didn't even look at him as she responded.

"You don't need that. You're too young for tea." She flipped a page in her book, peering over her glasses at him.

Richard frowned, patting her leg again. "Please, mama? I wanna have a tea party with Pepp-"

"I said  _ no. _ " She looked over at him fully, a harsh and mean look on her face. "Don't ask me again. Do you understand?" She stared him down until he responded back to her.

Lip quivering a little, he nodded. "...Sorry, Mama. I won't ask again." He turned around. Sad and disappointed, he started to walk back to his room. However, he stopped at the entrance of the kitchen. Maybe he could make it himself. She would never know.

Smiling deviously, he scampered off into the kitchen, dragging Pepper along.

"Okay, Pepper. Where would mommy keep tea?" he asked her, looking down at the stuffed animal for a response. She did respond this time. "What? Teabags don't go in the fridge, silly." He smiled and looked around for something to get up on, soon seeing a stool and going over to grab it.

Placing Pepper on top, he pushed the chair over to the counter to get up on so he could reach the very top cupboard for a cup and tea. He tried to keep quiet, occasionally looking out the archway of the kitchen to make sure his mom wasn't coming.

"Move over a little, I still need to get up on the chair, y'know." Rolling his eyes at the cat, he climbed up onto the chair, then onto the counter, standing on top of it. Looking up into the cupboard, he saw a pretty teacup and grabbed it, smiling. "I hope she doesn't get mad for us using this," he mumbled to his plush friend.

After grabbing the cup, he rummaged around for the tea, soon finding it and grabbing a tea bag. As he got down, he put the cup and tea bag on the counter.

"Okay, Pepper. Let's get some water." He grabbed the cup, bringing it over to the sink and turning on the hot water. He let it run for a few seconds so it would get hot before filling the cup up. Carefully, he brought it back over to the counter and placed the teabag in, smiling. "This is easier than I thought." Richard smiled to himself, reaching for the sugar bowl.

For a moment, he thought about grabbing a spoon to put the sugar in, but smirked and decided against it. He wanted lots of sugar anyways. 

As he grabbed the bowl and tried to pour a bit of sugar into the cup, he underestimated the weight of the bowl. He gasped as it fell onto the cup, sending all the water in it onto his lap. It burned.

Letting out a cry of pain, he held his hands over his face and chest where the water spilled, tears forming in his eyes as he whimpered through the pain of the burn. He looked toward the archway of the kitchen, just waiting for his mother to come in to scold him. But, she never came. Not even to help him, either.

The little boy hiccuped from a sob, holding the side of his face. The tears only made the burning worse.

“Mama! Ma-,” he whimpered, getting down on the floor on his knees and staring down at the white tiled floor. “Mama…” He tried one last time, voice shaky and quiet. His cries were soft, yet full of pain. His face and chest burned badly. He could only pray it wouldn’t leave a scar.

After a few minutes of crying by himself, he lifted himself from the floor, slowly bringing his hand away from his face. He attempted to try blinking with his eye, but it only hurt more, so he opted to just keep it closed.

Sniffling, he walked over to the oven and grabbed a tea towel that was folded over the handlebar. He held the soft towel in his hands, eyeing it for a second before bringing it over to the sink. Richard turned on the cold water, letting it run for a second before putting an edge of the towel under the faucet. After wetting it, he turned the water off and pressed the cool towel against his face. It still hurt, but he had to do something to make the pain subside.

Standing alone in that kitchen made him feel so… lonely. Then again, he always had Pepper. The thought made him smile a little.

Looking down at his clothes with his good eye, he frowned. They had gotten dirty from the tea. After he cleaned up his mess, he would have to change.

If only Connor wasn’t at his friend’s house. He would be able to help him feel better. He always knew how to make him feel better.

After a few minutes of standing alone in silence, he let out one last sniffle before deciding it was time to clean up the mess. 

He used the same towel he had used for his face, wetting it a bit more before cleaning up the spilt tea. The boy stopped for a moment, looking up at his stuffed cat. “Sorry, Pepper. We… we can’t have a tea party anymore.” He forced a smile at her, eyes watery. She stared back with blank button eyes, as always.

Soon, he finished cleaning up his mess, taking the towel and washing it out before laying it over the sink to dry.

Maybe he could just play on his own. With Pepper and his other toys.

He wished Connor was home. Then maybe he could play with him. They could go outside and skip rocks or play hide and seek. Anything to make him not feel so lonely.

Looking over at his stuffed cat again, he picked her up gently and hugged her close before walking out of the kitchen, little shoes tapping against the floor.

As he walked out, he could see his mother still sitting in her seat, quietly reading. Away from the world and all her responsibilities. He wondered what that was like. To escape and be somewhere else completely.

Sometimes, he felt like he could. If he closed his eyes and just thought long and hard in a silent room. He could imagine himself in a room full of colorful toys and such. Connor could be there too. They could play together, no one would laugh at him.

They’d have a mother and father that loved them so much. They would give them kisses goodnight and read them bedtime stories, everything Richard wanted oh so desperately.

He could show them Pepper and say how pretty he had dressed her up for the day. He could show his collection of feathers he had from dead birds he’d find on the side of the road. He could tell them about the voices he heard and ask them what their voices said too.

He could feel a little bit normal.

As he continued on, he walked down that eerie hallway back to his and his brother’s room. It was so empty with no one else there.

Taking a deep breath, he walked into their room and closed the door behind himself.

Light from outside their window shone past the white curtain into the room, making it the only light actually in there. It was so… grey. Depressing. Looking around, he realized just how colorless his life was. 

And then, he spotted something under their bed.

Walking over to it and reaching for it, he pulled it out. A nice, pretty satin red ribbon.

Smiling, he wrapped it around Pepper’s neck into a little bow. Red. He liked red. It was bright, shimmery, and just beautiful. It looked nice on her.

The longer he stared at the cat, the blurrier his vision became. 

“You’re my only friend, Pepper,” he choked out as he sat against the bed, holding her close and letting his lonesome tears fall into her fake fur.

No voices came. For once, he was kind of okay with that. They didn’t tell him to stop crying, they didn’t tell him to grow up. Nothing.

It was just him, Pepper, and his soft gentle sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh FUCK! im so sorry this took super long to get out!! i took a break from writing, i still have lots to do as well! but i feel like people should get a taste of exactly what little richie's childhood was like. hope you enjoyed!


	7. childhood: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last part of childhood! after we will continue on to the present day :) also, BIG TW!!its fairly similar to the last chapter except nines is... well i cant say too much or itll spoil so just be aware shit is sad have fun bye

So much for a fourteenth birthday. What was he supposed to do with a shitty pen and book? It was the only gift Richard got from his mom. Connor got him a walkman along with a tape of his favorite artist. He had to say, it was sad that his older brother knew him better than his actual mother. 

“This is bullshit.” Richard glared at the gift in his hand. He had asked for one thing and one thing only. He just wanted a new action figure from the local toy store. But Amanda said he wasn’t a baby anymore, that babies play with those toys.

Connor, who was sitting on his bed across from Nines, frowned a little. “Aw, come on. We still have most of the day to spend doing something special for your birthday. Why don’t we go to the arcade-”

“We don’t have money for the arcade, Con.” Richard narrowed his eyes at Connor for a moment before looking at his gift from his mom again. Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t exactly ungrateful for the gift, it’s just… well, Amanda never really tried to make it an enjoyable birthday for him. No cake, no special good morning, no party, nothing. Richard wondered momentarily why he even got his hopes up for the occasion.

Connor sighed, going to sit next to his brother on the floor. “We can always just leave the house. I know staying here probably isn’t any better, right?” he asked with a forced smile as he nudged Richard. “Come on, we can- we can go to Jim’s Pizzeria? You like it there right? It’s not that expensive either. It can be on me.” He smiled, those chocolate brown eyes shining in what light was in the room.

Richard glanced up at him and smiled. “Thanks but… you really don’t have to do that, Connor. It isn’t your responsibility to make sure my birthday goes well. I’m used to it… it’s fine.” He tugged at the sleeve of his white long sleeve, a black t-shirt over it. “I just… I’m just done with all this shit, dude!” he shouted, suddenly standing, his grip on the notebook tightening. 

“Richard! Get in here right now!” his mother yelled from the living room. He groaned and Connor gave a look of sympathy as they both went out together. He never knew what his mom would do to his brother after all.

“What?” Richard asked as he walked out of the hallway, Connor passing him and going into the kitchen to grab himself something to drink. When he passed him, he muttered a small “good luck” to Richard.

“What’d I tell you about watching that mouth of yours? You never really learn…” she mumbled, going back to reading her book. The look on her face, lord, anyone should have been able to see how malevolent she was.

Richard glared at her; if looks could kill, she would be dead in a heartbeat. “I don’t take advice from people who don’t take the time to raise me, sorry,” he said, spitting venom in his voice.

Connor listened in from the kitchen, giving no more than a glance or two to actually see what was going on. Furtively, he was overjoyed to see his brother stand up for himself. However, when he did, it rarely ended well. But, he learned quickly that Richard didn’t care anymore about what the consequences were for fighting with their mother.

Amanda looked up from her book again, staying silent for a second before setting it down. “Excuse me?” she asked, ticking her head to the side. “You are so disrespectful. You had better apologize right now, young man.”

Richard stood his ground. “Or what? What else could you possibly do to make this day any shittier?” Anger flowed through his veins. Amanda was a horrible mother to both him and Connor. He hated her. 

“You need to learn to be grateful,” she said as she stood up from the couch, walking towards Richard, pointing a finger. “You don’t see your brother complaining, do you? Why can’t you be quiet like him? He would have appreciated that gift.”

“Fuck that! Fuck your stupid gift! You didn’t do jack shit to make this a good day for me! You’re awful!” He suddenly threw the notebook at her, tears welling up in his eyes. “Not- not once have you e-ever tried for me! Not once!”

She blocked the book from hitting her, glaring at Richard before aggressively gripping his wrist and pushing him against the wall. She was glaring him down, hate in her eyes. He whimpered in pain. His wrists felt like they were on fire when she did that. “What? Are you going to cry?You have nothing to cry about. I shouldn’t have gotten you anything. You should be happy with what you have.”

Richard sniffled, staring up at her with nothing but hate. After a few seconds, he finally spoke. “Fuck you.”

Then, she only gripped harder into his wrist, nails digging so hard they even hurt through his sleeve. He whimpered, choking back his tears as he stared up at her. But, there was only so much holding back he could do. Tears fell from his eyes and absorbed into the carpet, leaving dark and wet spots where each tear landed.

“Apologize,” she growled at the younger boy, pressing her nails in deeper.

Richard didn’t say anything, instead doing his best to not start bawling on the spot.

After a few seconds of staring at his shaking form, she let go. “Connor, take your brother back to your room. Now. I’ve been bothered enough today,” she said before turning away and going to sit back on the couch.

Quickly, Connor came around, staring at his brother. He wanted to cry himself. He hated how their mother treated him. As he came over to Richard and put an arm around him, he spared one scared look at Amanda before hurriedly rushing back to their room.

Connor stayed quiet the whole way there until they closed and locked the door to their bedroom. Looking over at Richard, he frowned and walked over to him, pulling him into a hug. 

“I know this sucks, I know,” he mumbled as he rubbed his brother’s back. Richard wasn’t hugging back, but that was fine. He knew his poor brother wasn’t in any state of mind to really care about, well, anything.

It was silent for the few moments that Connor stood there just hugging his brother tightly, wanting to make his frustrations just go away. Then maybe his birthday would be a little bit nicer.

The rest of the night was quiet. No singing, no happy music for Richard. No beautifully wrapped presents, nothing but a quiet household. Connor tried to make it better for him though, and he appreciated it. Every moment of Connor just trying to lighten the mood, he appreciated.

They stayed up late that night, playing what video games they did have until it was bedtime. Amanda had come in, told them to turn it off and go to sleep. When she looked at Richard though… all he could feel was hatred just radiating from her. She hated him, he was sure. 

_“I hope you learned a lesson today, Richard.”_

That’s what she said before leaving the room and going to her own bedroom.

It was like a stab to the chest. He already felt bad, yet she always felt the need to make it worse. The young boy wondered often what he did to deserve such things, such treatment in his life. He wondered all too often why Amanda ever took him to a doctor when he was sick. By sick, close to being dead. She would wait until he was a foot in the grave before ever helping him. It had happened before, time and time again.

Why didn’t she just let him die? Then surely she would be happier. Surely his brother would also have less to worry about. He wouldn’t have to embarrass him in front of his friends anymore. They could finally find something else to laugh about. Something other than him, something other than “Connor’s crazy, psycho brother.” 

That laughter played in Richard’s head for about two hours before he finally just opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling.  

He hadn’t fallen asleep yet. He couldn’t fall asleep. Instead, there he laid awake for hours in his light blue pajamas just trying to get phantom voices out of his head.

Was Connor awake? He wasn’t really a heavy sleeper. But he needed to get out. Out of this room, out of bed, just anywhere but there.

_Why don’t you take the opportunity?_

No.

_Why don’t you hurt yourself?_

Shut up.

_Why don’t you just end it, Richie?_

… I don’t know.

Sitting up, he found himself just staring at the wall of their bedroom for a few minutes, contemplating. 

He felt so tired. Not like he wanted to sleep though. Just… tired. Tired of all the voices in his head, tired of wondering why he was alive, tired of wondering when things would get better.

Now wasn’t there a way to fix that?

As if in a trance, he swung his feet over his bed and to the step ladder of his and Connors bunk bed. Quietly, he stepped down. Connor seemed to be asleep, that was good. For a few seconds, all he could do was stare at his brother and wonder what his life would be like if he had never existed. If he never had such a burden of a little brother to look after. Maybe he would have more friends, their mother wouldn’t be so mean. 

Connor deserved so much better than he did. He was smart and kind, not weird like him. He was normal.

Richard never wanted normality more than in that moment.

Turning around, he walked over to their door of the bedroom and opened it, a loud creak sounding into the room. He looked back, seeing his brother shift a little, but was still asleep. Letting out a sigh of relief he walked out of the room and to the bathroom. To think, or something like that.

The hallway was so dark, so quiet. For a moment all he could do was just stand there and let those voices in his head take over for a few seconds. Maybe they could give him the advice he so desperately needed. An answer, a solution to all his problems that didn’t involve death or pain. But he couldn’t find one.

He was beginning to think maybe that’s all he really deserved. Pain. Pain… and death.

The dark hallway consumed him. Just black, blank space filled the air and nothing more. It left so much room for thinking. He hated it.

In his throat he could feel some kind of burning sensation. Richard desperately wanted to cry, break down. But that would wake up the house. So it was better to just stay quiet.

Minding his steps, each noise he made, he walked into the bathroom and turned the light on. It was so bright. A brightness that should have been more tolerable than the darkness out in the hall. But the eerie green tint to the old light made it depressing and just… uneasy.

Staring up at the walls and lights, he sighed, closing the door behind him. 

_It’s so quiet here. So silent. Don’t you enjoy it?_

Another thought he just tried to ignore. Still, he found himself stopping in front of the sink, glancing down at the cabinet below it.

A little look couldn’t hurt.

Crouching down, Richard hesitated before opening up the cabinet. Inside was just shampoo, soap, things like that. Maybe a towel or two.

But way in the back was a bottle of bleach.

 _Grab it. Just see what it’s like. Just do it,_ clamored the voices.

Richard reached in the back, pulling out the bottle. His heart was racing. His thoughts got louder and his throat burned so much more. After grabbing it, he closed the cabinet door gently and then placed the bottle on the sink.

_Just see what it’s like. Just do it._

He eyed the bottle a little longer, reading the label and directions. “DO NOT CONSUME,” it said somewhere on the warning. Interesting. As if it was made just for him.

**_Just do it._ **

He looked up, blinking. It was blurry. When he blinked again, he realized he was crying. His face was deadpan, no expression to show how broken he was besides the tears that flowed down his cheeks. They weren’t even red, he looked so emotionless. 

_**DO IT.** _

His fingers were finding their way to the cap, already twisting it off when the door opened.

“Richard? What are you-”

Connor was standing in the doorway, eyes wide when he saw what was going on. His heart nearly stopped in that moment. 

All Richard could do was stare back, no expression, no fear. His hand faltered on lifting the cap, him just staying quiet as he waited for his brother to do something.

Connor’s hands started to shake and he felt like his stomach did a flip as he walked toward Richard. His eyes barely made contact with the bottle of bleach and he still just wanted to throw up from utter fear of what would have happened if he wasn’t there.

Connor had been awake since Richard left his bed actually. But he just thought he was getting water or just going to use the restroom. But it was so eerily quiet after he left and his instincts told him to get up and check on him.

He was glad he did.

“Rich- Richard, let’s go to bed. You need sleep,” he said with a terrified look in his eyes, taking his younger brother’s hand and tugging gently. He just wanted to get him out of there. Get him away from that poison in a colorful bottle. 

Surprisingly, Richard didn’t fight him. All he could do was look a little disappointed as they left the bathroom. It was upsetting to watch how little he cared about being caught. It was as if it was just a lost chance for him. Playing a game with his life just in hopes someone would stop him in time.

Connor spared only one last glance at the bathroom, swallowing a lump in his throat that he hadn’t even known was there.

He guided him to their room, rubbing his back and not giving him a chance to look back.

When they got to their room, Richard just headed over to the step ladder and climbed back up before crawling under the covers. No words were exchanged.

Connor pressed his lips together as he stood in front of their door for a few minutes, wondering what to do. Getting their mother wouldn’t help and he couldn’t stay up all night, but… no, he couldn’t risk it.

He ended up standing guard anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this bitch wanna die lmaoooo.... also, kind of an eboy love that for him.  
> also a special thank you to my good friend @quantumfiddlesticks (she writes on here too!!) for editing the fic for me and stuff. it means a lot. she is also the other creator for this au!! none of this would have happened withput her :) i recommend checking her stories out!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: murder and shit, after this point there wont be really any tws, only for serious stuff, i think yall know by now this fic is fucked have a great day

It had been hours. How many hours, Richard couldn’t say. All he knew was that he had been hiding in some bushes next to Gavin’s house. He was up on a small hill where a couple of trees grew, keeping him well hidden. 

Plenty of times, Gavin just told him to come inside if he caught Richard stalking him. Of course, he never declined. However, most of his time was spent just creepily staring at the other. If Gavin ever asked, he would say it was for reference. He did draw Gavin a lot after all, so it wasn’t like he was lying about it.

But, when Gavin wouldn’t catch him, he would stay outside for hours on end. Sometimes four hours, sometimes six… maybe even ten if he really wanted to.

Always, he would have his knife on hand. He would press the sharp tip into his fingers and watch as large drops of blood would well on his fingertips. It was beautiful. Beautiful in every sense of the word. Maybe he could even call it hypnotizing.

As he stared down at his finger now, he found himself entranced.

“Oh Gavvy…” he sighed dreamily into the cold midnight air, a small cloud of his breath exited his mouth. It was cold. Very cold, actually. He could be home right now, all cozy in some blankets asleep. Yet, here he was at Gavin’s house, watching him as he cleaned his house.

He knew where everything was now. Richard knew what was usually in Gavin’s fridge, how often he would clean, when he usually went to sleep, his work schedule, the make and model of his car, and to top it all off, that he liked about two scoops or so of sugar in his coffee.  Oh, and not to mention the bag of cat food for stray cats. It was cute.

Looking down at his phone, he could see it was 12:32 in the morning. Gavin would be sleeping in maybe an hour or two since it was a day off. Obviously, Richard knew that.

“If only I could come see you, dear. It is your night, though. It’s okay. Please enjoy yourself, love… I will keep you safe,” he giggled softly, putting a hand over his mouth to stay quiet. Once Gavin was asleep all safe and sound, he would leave. Thank the lord he didn’t have to get up early for work.

As he stared down at his finger, he hummed softly, digging the tip of the knife deeper into his finger.

Then, a branch broke.

His ears perked up and he looked around, breathing quieting.

As he looked around, he could see someone from far away emerging from the woods. Richard ducked down further into the bushes, staring at this other man as he walked down the hill. Didn’t he know this was private property?

Confused, he watched him and where he was going. He didn’t know him. Why was he here if he didn’t know Gavin either? Richard knew all of Gavin’s friends by now, and there weren’t many. So what was this guy doing here?

He seemed… cautious. Looking around, clearly nervous. His body language made Nines tilt his head with a smile. “What do we have here?” he asked to himself quietly. This man wasn’t doing what he _thought_ he was doing, right?

Once the man was far away enough, he stood up, following him and stopping at the end of the hill. The stranger stopped at Gavin's door, crouching down before picking the lock. He was breaking in.

Richard could only smile. It was funny to him. This man really thought he was going to get away with this? Breaking into _his_ Gavvy's house? Holding in a laugh, he tossed up his knife, twirling it in the air before he caught it back in his hand. "This'll be fun."

Gavin was too preoccupied to even hear his door opening. He was currently wrapping up some leftovers, ready to put them away until he dropped one of the ziploc bags. "Shit," he mumbled as he put everything else away first before he leaned down to pick up the other bag.

When he came back up, he was met with a gun to his face. Gavin's heart nearly stopped as he stared at the man. Only Richard ever snuck into his house like this. But clearly, this wasn't Richard.

"Give me anything that's worth my time. Or else I'll shoot your brains out," the man said in a gruff, harsh voice. He looked like your classic criminal. Black beanie, black clothes, and a gun, obviously along with a motive for money.

Gavin dropped the bag again, putting his hands up in surrender. "Look- look, man, I really don't have shit that's worth anything-" 

Suddenly, he was pushed against his kitchen counter by his shirt, gun pressed hard against his forehead. "Don't give me that bullshit! You have some money lying around, give me it, bitch," he growled.

Gavin winced, looking behind the robber. Faintly, he could see the silhouette of a taller man. One look at what he was wearing, and he had to sigh in relief.

"He won't be giving you anything," the killer said lowly as he gripped onto the back of the robbers hood, pulling him back and onto the floor.

"Wh- what the fuck?!" he hollered, backing up on the floor and raising the gun at Nines' head. "Get the fuck away from me or I'll shoot you too!" the man threatened. Oh, but if he knew the sort of treat he was in for.

Nines grinned. "I'd like to see you try," he taunted with a giggle following as he suddenly kicked the gun out of the intruder’s hand. Quickly, he pounced onto the robber, fighting past his flailing hands to attempt to stab him.

Gavin just watched, heart racing from fear of what could have just happened and also a murder happening right in front of him.

"Let this be a l-lesson to you, you sick _disgusting_ scum for even _thinking_ of hurting my dear Gavin." His words came out in breaths as he struggled to get the knife down, soon getting some strength and pushing down into his throat, blood starting to squirt out from the wound.

The man started to choke, his hands gripped the knife and caused blood to drip from his palms. He tried to mutter out words of mercy and surrender, but they went on deaf ears as Nines plunged the knife deeper before ripping it out of his neck only to plow it right back down into his chest.

"You— haha! You really thought that- that you'd get away with this!? You're so pathetic!" he exclaimed as his one or two stabs became multiple, blood splattering everywhere onto the kitchen floor and on himself, splats of it all over his perfect face.

No longer was the man speaking, in fact, Nines was practically just having fun with a corpse at this point, stabbing him over and over until all you could see on his torso was blood and holes in his clothes from Nines' knife. His laughter continued, though anger was clear as day in his eyes.

Come to think of it, Gavin had never seen him so pissed off before. 

"Rich- baby! Hey, hey! He's dead, you can stop now," he said as calmly as possible as he approached Nines, reaching out to his shoulder. "Nines, I'm okay, it's okay."

The serial killer slowly stopped, giving one or two more stabs before slowly pulling out his knife and letting it clang to the wooden floor. His hair was a mess, sweaty and he was covered in blood. He was panting, staring down at the body of a man who dared to touch the most beloved person in his whole life.

"I hope... he learned his lesson," he giggled breathlessly as he looked up at Gavin. Seeing his worried expression, he reached up, placing a blood-soaked hand on his cheek and taking in a long inhale from his nose. "Mm.. you are safe now. No one will hurt you, dear," he murmured with a sweet smile.

 _Ew_ was the first thing Gavin thought about all the blood, but then again, he was around blood a shit ton now. It was whatever at this point.

"I'm.. I'm sure he did," he said as he leaned into Nines, staring at the body. It was gross, so lifeless. He wondered for a moment if that guy had a family. People that'd miss him… it was too late now for any of that though. "God, it already reeks of blood in here."

Nines nodded, smiling wider. "I like it," he giggled as he took one more look at the body before grabbing his knife and standing. Drops of blood flowed down from his drenched shirt onto his forearms, it dripping down into the already forming pool of blood. It'd be so much nicer to watch if this man hadn't tried to threaten Gavin. Oh, maybe he would have had such a better life ahead of him.

No one knew that Gavin was his though. Of course, no one knew. Hm.

Gavin groaned a little as Nines stood, watching all that blood just... seem to flow endlessly. "Richard... sweetheart, please shower or something. Why don't- uh... why don't you stay here tonight?" he asked as he glanced between the body and his boyfriend continuously. He never knew what Nines was going to be like after a killing. It made him a little nervous. 

Nines nodded. "Yes… I apologize. I can clean this up after-"

Gavin shook his head. "No. It's fine. I'll try to do something to clean it up, you just go get all that shit off you okay? You can use some clothes of mine if you want also. Now go before you start smelling like a morgue," he said with a small smile.

The killer nodded, doing as Gavin asked of him. He walked off to the shower, humming as he went.

Gavin smiled a little to himself then glanced at the body again. Blood pooled around him; shiny, pretty, as Nines would say. Gavin could see some sort of sick appeal, he supposed. However, murder was by no means his cup of tea. 

Cleaning up took a while, in fact, he just put the body in a trash bag somewhere and mopped up the floor, nothing more. Richard could help him later. Not like anyone came to his house really anyways, so who would see?

While he cleaned, he could hear Nines humming the tune of “Don’t Wanna Fall In Love”. A nice, cheery old song. But, halfway through his shower, he seemed to just… stop. Nines was very quiet. Too quiet. But, Gavin didn’t think anything of it since Nines probably had too much on his mind to be focusing on how perfect a song went as he hummed it.

Almost right as Gavin was finishing up cleaning the mess, he saw Nines walk out on the bathroom with a pair of grey sweatpants along with a damp towel around his neck. His hair was still visibly wet and drops of water fell onto the hardwood floor as he walked. He looked.. preoccupied. 

Gavin raised an eyebrow as he watched him sit on his couch, staring into nothingness. That wasn’t like him to look so listless.

Tilting his head a bit in curiosity, Gavin grabbed Nines’ knife and walked over to him, handing it over. “I cleaned it off for you,” he said with a strained smile. “And I used gloves. So don’t worry about any fingerprints on it.”

Nines pressed his lips together, a faint smile showing but certainly not lasting for more than a second or two. “Thank you,” he replied, holding the knife gently in his hand and glancing at his reflection in it. 

“You know, I-” he paused, shaking his head, “I didn’t expect what happened tonight.. to happen.”

Gavin let out a small chuckle. “Well of course not. No one would have known, babe.” He scooted a little closer to Nines, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to start blaming yourself over this,” he said.

Nines shook his head. “No, I won’t. It’s just… I feel like I could have protected you better, prevented from you even _possibly_ getting hurt.” The killer continued to stare at the knife, resisting the urge to press his finger against its sharp edges. “The thing is, or what I’m trying to say, is no one is aware that you’re mine,” he murmured, looking over at Gavin with a dull expression.

Gavin again tilted his head, this time in confusion. “What do you mean they don’t know? I thought you didn’t want people to know-”

“No, I mean-” Nines turned his body, one leg up on the couch, “I mean I want to show somehow… that you’re my lover. Or at least something to show.. you belong- well no not belong to me, that just sounds disrespectful-”

“Rich, just tell me what the hell you want to do,” Gavin said, looking at him impatiently.

Nines pursed his lips, his eyes moving from Gavin’s eyes to his arms. He reached for his right arm and brought it into his lap. Taking in a breath, he then held up his knife a little.

“I want to mark you with the nine.”

Gavin’s eyes widened a little, blinking a few times as well in surprise. "What? You mean that carving you put into your victims?" he asked, clearly cautious about what exactly this meant.

"Yes. But you're not a victim… you'll just.." he paused, smiling a little as he looked up at Gavin from his arm, "..be _mine_." Oh, that smile of his was so bitterly sweet, a crazed sparkle in his eyes that only Gavin could find attractive.

Although a little on the fence, how could he say no when Nines was looking at him like that?

Biting his lip nervously, Gavin slowly gave a nod. "...Fine. That's fine just— uh, make it quick. And.. not hurt, would be nice," he said as he looked away, resting his head on his left hand. He didn't look so sure.

Nines raised an eyebrow, reaching over to turn his lovers face to look at him. "Darling, you have to tell me if you're really okay with this. You know that, right?" he asked with a tick of his head, leaning in a little to Gavin. His eyes kept flicking to his lips, a clear sign he wanted a kiss.

Gavin leaned in, pressing his lips to the killer's, the kiss being sweet and long. "I know, baby, I know." He reached up to cup Nines' face, foreheads pressed against each other. "I'm fine with it. I promise. Just something I haven't done before… obviously. Don't worry," he said with a smile, looking into Nines' eyes. 

Smiling too, Nines gave a nod. "Okay. Just tell me if it hurts bad," he mumbled as he pulled back from Gavin, finally setting his arm where he wanted it.

The other man looked away still, though wasn't nearly as nervous as before. Partially, yes, he wanted this for himself. It was just like a tattoo. Something to remind him of his love for years to come. The other half of him just wanted to please Richard. But, that wasn't a bad thing. He'd do a lot of things to make him happy. Cleaning up bodies, for example.

His thoughts distracted him a bit as Nines started to glide the knife over his wrist, beginning to carve in the number "9". He was gentle, though still earned himself a few winces and hisses from Gavin. Each time he would apologize in a loving tone. Every turn and cut of his knife was beyond gentle. 

It made Gavin's heart race as he finally watched him.

Nines— no, _Richard_ , his Richard, was being so gentle, treating his arm like a fine piece of china. Never had he felt so cared for despite the current situation. His psycho murder boyfriend was treating him like he'd break if he made one wrong move, and although most times that'd probably irritate him, it just made him fall all the more deeper in love with him.

Leaning forward a little, careful to not move his arm much, he pressed a kiss to Nines' damp hair, eyebrows furrowing as he started to smile through the pain.

After a few minutes, Nines was done and put his knife down, using his towel around his neck to wipe off any excess blood. Then, he brought Gavin's wrist to his lips, kissing over the new carved in number gently.

Nines smiled, all his worries seeming to melt away as he stared at Gavin, holding his hand. His eyes looked glossy as he squeezed a little tighter.

Gavin smiled back, letting out a halfhearted laugh. "What?" he asked, letting Nines hold his hand up to his face. 

Nines stayed quiet for a moment before smiling wider. "I'm just… I love you. So much," he sighed out, his hands shaking a little. Nervous.

Of course he was nervous, it was the first time either of them had said "I love you."

Gavin could have sat there, denied him right then. He could have thought over the risks of dating a serial killer. He could have rethought about how much he cared for Richard, how badly he wanted to just be there by his side, how much he meant to him and what he would do without him. A mess, trainwreck of thoughts, an absolute plethora of self doubt and wonder and excitement.

All put together, Gavin smiled brightly, a pair of matching glossy eyes as he let out a giddy laugh.

"...I love you too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD THEY.


End file.
